I'm having a day after drinking sort of day. You know when the alcohol has left but also takes part of your brain cells and most common sense factors. Makes you sad after the fact. Anyway I'm tired, I feel like cuddling and having someone wipe my tears away but I don't have any good reasons to cry or anyone to wipe my tears away so I will refrain.

Fiction

This is for Kristin.

Late in the evenings Sybil would let her dog play in the yard and listen to the neighbor's tv from her porch. The neighbors were in their seventies and had hearing problems, so Bill O'Riley would boom through the front of the house and into the quiet of the neighborhood every night at the same time. Sybil chuckled to herself about this on many occasion. She figured, 'if your audience can't hear you rant, what is the point?!' She never told them though. Instead, Sybil sat.
Some nights she would drink tea or lemonade; some nights she'd spike her drink to make the loneliness more bearable. She didn't mind being alone most of the time, but those times the moon was full and the breeze just right she wanted someone to wrap their arms around her. Buddy, her dog, was pretty damn good at snuggling, but not when on the porch. Buddy liked to roam the neighborhood and be a nussance to the cats and Mrs. Winslow. Buddy was some sort of terrier mix. Sybil wasn't sure anymore what all he had in him, but she didn't really care. He was her best friend and she his. She had had him for 5 years; through a divorce and her mother's death. Two of the hardest things a woman could go through. With all the stress, she hadn't had time to start dating again and Buddy always had a kiss for her.
Sybil lived down the street from a bakery. Five houses down to be exact. She had one of those bungalows built in the 40s. It had a nice sized backyard and the houses had decent spaces between them, unlike newer subdivisions. Her neighbors to the left, or south, had 3 kids and 2 cats. Luckily for the cats, they were indoor cats. Buddy loved cat-tail. Tom and Tracy had moved in right before Jay left. Tracy had been pregnant with Missy at the time. Paula and Vinny had only been 3 and 1 at the time. Sybil remembered thinking, 'What a handful!' The kids were well behaved and she rarely saw tantrums.

Damn it

I love it when I thought I knew a word or used a word that doesn't f*ing exist. Visage is the correct word and I thought it was vistage. I don't even know what I thought it meant. "God, why am I so not eloquent and informed on words?" Whatever I think I'm going to live. I still use more words than 'normal' people. I think that's because I talk more than most people and more to myself than most people do. Is that necessarily bad? No I get more practice. :)

AH HA...

Alright Alright Alright. We are sitting here allowing gorgeous weather surge through my apartment with all windows open... even had the front door open for a while. .. So the fresh air must of helped. That along with brushing my teeth. It's amazing how such a simple activity can turn your day around.

I had a very long day yesterday which has allowed the stress to build up in my chemicalias partes de mi cabesa. I'm ready for a rant. I can rant all day I think. I'm not upset. I'm not let down. I'm not a lot of things but pissy just happened to wake up and burrow into my abdula oblemgada or whatever the fuck it is that makes you angry.

This is what today has brought. This is what writing... physically has placed on a page that could get put into the senior show. We'll figure it out... we, me myself and i. All three personalities that live within.

"There are certain things that can make a person happier than usual. To "normal" people that might be a sunny day or a brand new car; to those of us who have several screws loose, it can be squishing a bug, cutting off someone in an expensive car, or buying things that make only us laugh. What does that mean for you? 'YOU' the normal. The ones that buerocrats care about and socialism wanted to save. It means you're stuck. You're stuck within the loose screws. It means you have to deal with us. You can't put us in looney bins anymore... not without a lot of paperwork... who really wants to do such annoying paperwork? Not the normal. You have the authority like all others to do absolutely NOTHING.

You might have no authority to do anything but the loose screw folks have the authority to be the crazies. Being crazy and humorous has it's superb advantages. I find things of no value valuable and things of no interest interesting. I find humor in all things, even death. Being crazy does have downfalls... paranoia.. :) I'm not a paranoid individual like a schizo but I do worry... worry worry worry worry worry about EVERYTHING.

I sit at home and worry about you! You! I worry about your life. I don't know you, but I worry for you. I worry that you don't know what humankind is capable of and that you will allow more suprifulous things to happen. I worry that you don't care and never will. I worry that this is the end of important life. Computers are important and will soon run lives. Not like the "Matrix" but robotics is growing and science does advance itself very quickly, even if THEY don't tell us. :) "

I am too humored with myself to continue. Those of you who actually know me should find this funny. That I'm ranting about things that are worth ranting about when "I'm the crazy one". Don't worry those of you who don't know me. I'm not crazy, I just hate people yet worry about them all day long! I should be a dictator. I wouldn't have any good followers but I'd sure have a lot of fun! How is it possible that the most educated people in a country can't figure things out? Political correctness should be done away with. You can't sue the government so why does it matter when dealing with foreign affairs what the MF'ers say? Nevermind...

I'm going to go watch Dr Strangelove or some mundane movie with a lot of explosions. Maybe a nice romantic comedy to cheer my spirits . ... I wish I knew why I was in such a morbid mood!

Random Extra Post

If you had 10,000 matches what would be your favorite reason to burn them? How many matches are in a matchbook? How much money would we save if we just used matchbooks and not lighters for things? Did you know you can run a car on used cooking oil?! Yeah I saw it on Mythbusters! If I stay connected long enough to the internet tonight I might get angry enough at stupid people. It's starting... just not enough to produce any good art. Think I'll just read and wonder about things and why. I'm starting to answer my own questions by research. It's making me really happy!

Question?

This might be so lame that I want to kick myself in the face but when I'm happy and sleeping... those don't have to go together. Sleeping makes me happy but I don't need to sleep in order to have happiness... nevermind. I have no motivation when I have all this sleep and all this happiness and all this time to waste when I should be: making 2 more posters and fixing #1, finding a good print place to print them, finishing my resume, writing my artist statement, keeping up on my laundry (tho this was done today!), and trying to save money. AHHH!

I halfway half-assed worked on my resume today. I got the paper ready for poster #2 but don't feel like bitching about anything in order to write something nasty. I didn't get annoyed by my least favorite people... what the hell is God playing with me on the other side of the fence now? He's like yo-yoing my life. Yoing. Zoink! Plop! Crack! Wack! POW! ZAP!... this is fun ..



Who votes blond and who votes brunette?