today and last night I have been quite figity. I do not know if this is because of my sleep pattern or for the fact that my brain just keeps going and leaves me far behind.
I do sense that this could be the cause for my recent requests for human contact other than work.
Pause for a brief moment and wonder.... close your eyes after reading the rest, and imagin you're at the top of a hill, grassy knoll, and you have a sweet spring breeze coming up toward you.
Each time I've closed my eyes for thoughts, this is what keeps coming up, beauty and dismissal. The beauty of the thought and the immidiate dismissal that it is not actually happening. It is quite deterring.
I just watched most of a good movie... Premonition. With Sandra Bullock. trippy things going on after bringing up thoughts of God and the Holy Grail from the movie before.
Skip back skip back, everything we hold dear most likely can't be held blame, responsible, truthful, right, or wrong.
How can you face God at church and in your mind and deny him. He may very well be there, it is the faith you deny not necessarily the belief. You can believe he's there or you may believe he's not... but you are believing...... something!!!
I'm not making any sense. I'm seriously sad. Look at how gross I am. No wonder no one wants to have anything to do with me. Then on top of that, having no self esteem makes me not want to go meet new people and try new things. Slowly and steadily I will.
I'd just like wonderful to show up for a while and fix some things.
No comments:
Post a Comment