Not normal.

Thursday has been an interesting day. Not like, "Wow, I can't believed that stuff happened,"-interesting, but more like odd. One of those days that makes me really very angry at the world, but my world, not the world in general. After about 11 I was completely numb. I forgot to take my anxiety/depression meds this morning but took them when I got to class at 9. I took the prescribed dose, not the dose that my mind is used to. It totally hit me at once and hasn't really gone away. I'm completely over-medicated and can't snap out of it!
Last night I went to bed really early. The book I'm reading is sad and I got tired of reading about code. Again, I wish it was a little warmer and I could be outside. Anyway, I woke up at 4am, got online just to vent a little about something that bothered me yesterday, luckily Adam was online and helped with that. Then I went back to bed and had nightmares. Ones that make you sweat and your heart race. My chest still hurts and someone in my dream really hurt my feelings and I hurt theirs and I think the dream is what partly put me in this funk. In GD4, we did an exercise with collaging and working on eachothers stuff, almost all of the things I added was somehow morbid or related to what I am interested. I suppose the fact that it interests me is important and that things I like are very much related, but at 9am it can be kind of menacing and I hate that stupid people make retarded comments about the stuff I am intrigued by.
Anyway, the rest of the day was based on me feeling like bawling my eyes out without really being able to. I spoke to both my folks, today was my mom's birthday. I talked to Adam and I know for a fact I'm not upset with any of them. Adam wanted me to feel better and stop being sad and I didn't tell my folks, they have enough to worry about right now.
I had an independent study meeting and then went shopping for something to do and get my mind more activated than nuclear war and random shit that sucks. I also drove to Gray's Lake and watched the Moon Rise. The Sunset wasn't very pretty or unique so I watched the full moon instead.
The day is winding down and I'm feeling better. I ate some real food and had some cheesecake. Not necessarily in that order :). It made me feel a ton better and shopping and the lake has made me sleepy so sleep shouldn't be painful tonight like last night.

I do wish the Valentine's shit would stop. Though I half-way or more than half-way have someone. I could use a date and getting purdied up ;). I wanna feel like a woman instead of a friend but I'll take a friend . Well hopefully this is the only time I talk about relationships on a class assignment blog because I never intended to. I just am anti-Valentine's Day and probably always will be.